Gathering some of the sheet around me I get of the bed and head for the wall-size window on one side of the room. As I descend from the dais the sheet trails behind me like a oversized wedding train. Me a bloody bride as I proceed across the blood red carpet to the window. My white skin stands out against all the red as does my white hair. Looking out the window I can see the outside world. A city twinkling in the neon-light of cheap commercialization formed by greed. There could hardly be a more fitting audience in the world for this red wedding of mine. Trying to see all the way down below I push my entire body against the window. The heat from my breath and body leave prints on the glass making a stunning pattern as the cold from the outside slowly seeps through the sheet making me shiver. Yet I do not move as I strain to see into the depths. My face pressed to the glass I can almost smell the decadence that is catered to the people outside. Behind me the red door opens and closes silently. On the streets of the city so far beneath me night is calling as a man steps out of a shop with shaded windows carrying a paper bag. He is clutching it close to his chest almost as if it is something so pricelessly precious he can not bare to part with it. Carefully crossing the street he enters the building across the street and goes up the stairs until he reaches the top floor. Fumbling with the keys he opens a creaking door into a spacious apartment not at all in keeping with the mans rugged appearance. As the door falls into its lock behind him the man slowly stumbles across the expanse of the living and enters the bathroom leaving the bag on a table. As he reappears several minutes later shaven and in a fresh suit a women's voice has been calling out to him from the moment he turned on the tap. Hesitating over the paper bag for a moment he picks it up and takes it into the inner room. The place where the man once was truly happy. There on the bed is an obese woman who, as the man enters reaches desperately for the bag. Pulling a green glass bottle from the bag the man helps the woman sit up folding back the rolls of fat hanging over the sides of the mattress with loving attention. As she is sitting she drinks deeply from the bottle. Chugging down the contents of the bottle with frightening speed. With every mouth full she swallows her fat starts disappearing faster and faster. Skin once again fitting the form her bones had intended for her she gets up from the bed. Her willowy form swaying seductively. Standing the man sheds his clothes and soon the two become one. Later as the woman is asleep on the bed the man gets up. Disentangling himself he heads for the door. Looking back only once he softly closes the door behind him. Standing by the window bathing in the moonlight that is shining so brightly on this night it makes the neons look like cheap imitation jewels competing with a real diamond the man pulls out his phone. During the conversation silent tears start falling from his eyes as he shakes his head in denial of the inevitable. After the call the man is restless. Smoking one cigarette after another he walks to and fro in front of the window. Finally he returns to the door to the inner room but instead of entering he just stands there looking devastated. Balling his hand into a fist he turns on his heels and whips out his phone again. Several calls later the first ones start arriving, each one just as faceless as the next. He directs them into the inner room after collecting their money. Inside the woman's screams become desperate sobs as she screams the mans name over and over. It is hard to watch as the man stands there helplessly. But it gets harder yet when the screaming turns into silence and the silence turns into sweet moaning. When the last one finally comes out of the inner room the sun is already high in the sky. He sprinkles gold coins on the floor as he goes a satisfied grin on his empty face. Quite the tip since the woman inside had already started turning back to her former self in the middle of it. As soon as the door shuts behind him the man fall on hands and knees scrambling to pick up the coins scattered across the carpet. Getting up he straightens his jacket and pocketing the money he walks out the door. Not once does he look back. Not as he crosses the street and not as he enters the shop with the shaded windows. When night beckons the man once again emerges from the store with his paper bag and the events of the previous night start over. Just like a carousel turning round and round over and over.
Standing by the window I don't notice the tears until a delicate hand reaches out and carefully catches one of my tears on the tip of his finger. Bringing the finger up to his mouth his tongue flicks out lapping up the tear as I watch in stunned silence.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Useless questions for no one in particular
Slowly drifting towards consciousness I clutch at the edges of my dream. A dream that is now slipping through my fingers like a ribbon caught by a breeze. The moment you think you have it, it slips away only leaving a faint tingle on your fingertips where the fabric brushed your skin. Pulling the covers over my head I shut out the morning light that is teasing me into the waking world. Half intending to give chase to the dream and go back to sleep I hug the covers. Under the blankets its comfortably warm and the sounds of the waking building are only faint. Curling into a ball round my pillow my hair falls across my face. The smell of shampoo from last nights shower slowly starts to fill the enclosed space under the blankets. Fresh with a hint of flowery sweetness.
But the uneasiness of every day starts spreading and I can't help but ask myself: How long? How long can I stay like this. How long until the world will call me back to its daily routine. Uncertain I reach out from under the blanket, searching for my phone. What time is it anyway? I only find sheets. A rather large expansion of sheet almost too big for my bed. Opening my eyes I lift the blanket a little and squinting against the light I peek out. Shocked I sit up at once.
My hair falling in lazy curls on my shoulders and trailing down my arm my lips part slightly in surprise. Vermilion everywhere. Sheets, pillows, drapes everything dyed a deep vibrant red. I am sitting on a huge round bed on a low dais. The red sheets that spill over the edge fall down the low steps like a miniature waterfall dyed blood red. Trough the large windows I can look down at the city. Eyes wide I stare at the panorama enfolding before me. Pulling the blanket closer my head is spinning with questions. How did I get here? When? Why? And where is this anyway?
But the uneasiness of every day starts spreading and I can't help but ask myself: How long? How long can I stay like this. How long until the world will call me back to its daily routine. Uncertain I reach out from under the blanket, searching for my phone. What time is it anyway? I only find sheets. A rather large expansion of sheet almost too big for my bed. Opening my eyes I lift the blanket a little and squinting against the light I peek out. Shocked I sit up at once.
My hair falling in lazy curls on my shoulders and trailing down my arm my lips part slightly in surprise. Vermilion everywhere. Sheets, pillows, drapes everything dyed a deep vibrant red. I am sitting on a huge round bed on a low dais. The red sheets that spill over the edge fall down the low steps like a miniature waterfall dyed blood red. Trough the large windows I can look down at the city. Eyes wide I stare at the panorama enfolding before me. Pulling the blanket closer my head is spinning with questions. How did I get here? When? Why? And where is this anyway?
Friday, January 07, 2011
Prologue of a world now dead.
Prologue.
A soft wind was blowing. He could feel the long blades of grass caressing his skin. From behind his closed eyelids sunlight was filtering through. Warming the bare skin of his face and arms. He wondered how he'd gotten here for there was no pain, no screaming, just the sound of the leaves of grass whistling in the blowing wind. Slowly letting go of the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Opening his eyes in little slits he tried not to squint against the light. Through his lashes he could see white clouds drifting in a summer blue sky. Perhaps he'd gotten thrown away again. To his right the grass rustled and after the sound of a match being lid the scent of tobacco came drifting his way.
"Please don't mind me I am only here for the scenery." A voice said.
Not giving a reaction he stayed still.
An man dressed in a grey yukata smoking from an old fashioned long pipe and wooden slippers took a long look at him and then relaxed in the last rays of sunshine coming over the hills to the west. For the longest time the both of them shared their silence, the man sitting cross-legged smoking and the boy lying motionless on the grass. The way the man had looked at him had been like a predator lazily staring at something that might just become prey later but was fun enough to play with for now and it made him tense. Until the sun completely disappeared the only thing filling the silence was the rustling of the grass and the occasional sound of the man exhaling out a cloud of smoke. Then a severe looking man in a black suit came from the house and remained standing a little ways of. Blowing one final cloud of smoke the man emptied his pipe by hitting it against his slippers.
"I guess that means time is up." the man said.
Walking back up hill and out of his field of vision the boy heard him say as he passed the severe man in black: "The study if you'd please."
The man in black silently approached the boy. "He says you are awake. Personally I don't see it but he's never been wrong about it before. So I would appreciate it if you would walk on your own." Internally debating whether or not he should move the boy finally came to the conclusion he was too scared of the other man after all. Then the man in black kicked him in the side. It was a mean spot and it hurt like hell but he was used to that so he still didn't move letting his body fall as it may on impact. Then he was grabbed by his arms and hoisted over the man's shoulder, whom then continued to carry him up hill.
As it turned out there was a rather large house up there. Looking out over the surrounding fields you could see anyone coming from miles away. But he could only catch a glimpse of it before they entered the house.
He was carried through several narrow hallways until they reached an open study with a fireplace and several comfortable chairs. In between the bookcases the walls were littered with different kinds of weapons guns antique swords and the like and between them there hung small portraits almost as if standing testimony to their being either killed or handled by the people in them. The man in the yukata was standing behind the large desk by the window. Throwing the boy on the rug in front of the fireplace the man in black said: "Are you really sure he is awake?" No longer able to see the man by the window the boy was not really sure about what happened but in the silence the man who had carried him in turned white for a moment then bowed to and left. In the silence that followed all the boy could hear was his own breath. Then the man came walking into his field of vision. A fake friendly smile plastered on his face he leaned his foot on the exact spot the man in black had kicked him. "He kicked you didn't he? I'm sure it hurts quite a lot if I do this. Actually you are the first person ever to make me doubt whether or not he is conscious or not. Quite a feat."
Sitting down in one of the chairs the man kept his eyes trained on the boy at his feet. "I wonder just how you got to be so fucked up that you can endure that. But what I want to know even more is just how far you can take it." Opening his eyes the boy trained them on the man in the chair.
"There is no need for that. I know my limit." he said in a clear voice. Sitting up carefully inspecting his muscles and joints in the process without being obvious about it. The man in the chair sat back a mysterious smile on his face. "That is an interesting eye-colour you have." Shrugging the boy slowly got up and went to sit in the opposing chair. "My parents gave it to me. What about you?" Shrugging in a similar fashion the man made a non-committing gesture. "Didn't we all?" he said evasively. "Also aren't there other things you'd like to know?" Now it was the boys turn to shrug again. "I'm guessing you will get to that when you feel like it. "Also," he said mimicking the man's voice. "aren't there other things "YOU" would like to know." Crossing his arms he was the perfect image of a petulant child. For a moment the man in the chair was silent but then he started laughing. "Now I really wonder who you are. No matter. I will find out eventually. Let's cut the games. You are mine, nothing you can do about it. And what I want to know is what you can do for me. It's only natural to know the worth of ones possessions." Nodding the boy just sat in the opposing chair but didn't say anything. Folding his hands into a steeple in front of his face the man stayed silent as well.
Frowning at the tame reaction from the boy the man leaned back. "I'll start with a little self-introduction. My name is Kamui Kobayashi and my occupation is at this point irrelevant to you. Now I what I expect from you as my property is first of, your name." The boy just kept his silence. "Also I would like to turn your attention to the fact that disobedience will be punished." Nodding the boy said: "I don't have a name. In the past it has been altogether irrelevant for me to have a personal name." Kamui's eyes widened a little in surprise. "Then your age and previous occupation."
"I don't know my age either and my previous occupation would be... disposable item perhaps."
Annoyed with that answer Kamui's frown deepened. Getting up he trapped the small body in the chair by and leaned in. "You really want to get punished don't you." The eyes of the boy turning dead he just looked up at the man towering over him. "Mr.K. you asked to know my limits. There is only one way to find out how far you can stretch me and that is by doing it. I am only providing you with an excuse to do so." Backhanding him hard the boys lip split. "I will overlook your tone there but if you think I need an excuse to do whatever I want to you then you are dead wrong." his eyes glowing with malice.
"Then what are you so worked up about. Stop this nonsense and find out what it is you want to know." The malicious grin spreading over Kamui's face inspired fear in any man who knew him well enough and severe disease in anyone who didn't, in anyone but the young just stared back into its darkness with emotionless eyes.
------------
When the door opened the man in black who had been waiting across the hall approached his master who, as he came out was wiping his hands on a white cloth leaving it stained red. "His name is Caidian Ciel. I want you to take care of his training. Make sure you give him all the opportunity to develop into a useful asset." Walking together towards the front door where a car was waiting the man in black said: "I'll have his background check on your desk when you return." About to step into the car Kamui halted and looked back and laughed humourlessly. "Daniell..." Then shaking his head he got into the car. Before closing the door he leaned out and said: "I'd tell you to not to bother because you won't find anything but.. Knock yourself out. I'll be looking forward to your results." Then he closed the door and drove away. Shaking his head Daniell walked back inside. He had been working for Kamui for several years now and had found him to be a clever man with an instinct for business that bordered on the miraculous. He also had very little compassion and was often called heartless. As he opened the door to the study he was sharply reminded of that. The boy was lying on his stomach on the floor near the fireplace. His eyes were still open and clear despite the bruises that were starting to bloom all over his body. A network of scars ran crisscross over the boys skin leaving hardly any space untouched. Most of them with the whiteness of old scars but some of them still fresh. No more than a week old. And in the middle of all that were fresh burn marks. Stained red and black letters curved down his back on the left side nicely complementing the tattooed flowers blooming on his right. Having been across the hall the entire time Daniell could hardly believe he hadn't heard a sound. But what really stuck in his mind was the smile on the boys face as he lay there. The hot poker he had been burned with lying next to him. It'll be interesting for a while he thought as he went to get the bandages.
Chapter 1.
"I hear this is your first time at the assembly." his guide said as he was leading him through grand hallways to where The Assembly of Ladies and Gentlemen would be held. "Yes, until recently there was no reason for me to be involved in politics but as you must know my honourable father had a little accident and can no longer produce an heir making me his only son. It's still bordering on the miraculous it all went so fast." Eliah said faking a cheerful smile. That stupid old man had to go and get himself neutered in an accident and all of a sudden he thinks he has a say in my life. Now instead of playing Mah-Jongg with friends he had to sit in on this boring council in his fathers stead because the old geezer was still in the hospital.
"It's for your own good. Go and see what they are like. Better start now than wait until later when there actually is something you want to be decided there." is what his father had said when he had told him that quite frankly he didn't want to go. "I wish he'd just go and die already. Since he decided to show an interest after 20 years of ignorance and suddenly decided to make me his heir he's been nothing but a bother. Being in the hospital and performing that little theatre piece of being the poor lonely heartbroken man who finally realizes the love of his life was his first love, trying to win back my mother as an ally. Unbelievable!" Making sure that none of those sympathies showed on his face he followed the guide into the assembly room. It was as grand and pompous as he had expected it to be. Gold and marble inlay covered the floor and walls and precious paintings and tapestries had been hung on every available piece of wall. The room itself was a square but along the walls tiers had been build leaving the middle of the room an open area. Every tier had several chairs, some of them inlaid with the name of a prestigious family. According to his guide families received the honour of a named chair for special services rendered to the empire. His family name had been up there from the very beginning though. While his guide rambled of all the names and dates of important people and things that had been decided here Eliah looked at the people. His mother had forced him to memorize all the names and faces of every single noble and the base of their support.
Knowing how the power was divided turned out to be very useful. As the assembly came closer to starting more people filed in and almost naturally approached people who belonged to the same group. Another thing he noticed was the absence of women on the whole. There were only about 20 women spread over the 400 gatherers. His guide soon after took his leave, as he was not authorized to attend the actual assembly exiting the room right before the doors closed behind him. Finding his designated seat Eliah took a quick look around the room and saw that not nearly every seat was occupied. Also the faces he had seen so far where only the more elite of the nobility. "But isn't that strange? In this setting they could at least voice their opinions." he thought frowning. Clearing his throat an elder man came to sit next him on the right. "Is something the matter young man? You look trouble." Digging out a smile Eliah answered: "It's nothing really. Just wondering about something. Whom do I have the honour of addressing?" Silently thanking his mother for drilling social etiquette into him he held out his hand to the speaker. Grasping his hand in a firm handshake not at all in tune with his appearance the old man said: "I am baron Heinrich Hartzfeldt. Very pleased to make your acquaintance Sir.. But of course, sitting in the Saintz seat. You must be Eliah Saintz the designated heir?" It hadn’t really been a question. Smiling brightly like a 1000W light bulb Eliah said: "Yes indeed I am Eliah Nicholas Saintz. And the pleasure is all mine Sir. Hartzfeldt." While they continued to chat several people were stealing not so secret glances at them while others openly stared. But none of them dared approach him. Noticing Eliah's annoyed glances at the gawkers the old man said: "You must forgive them, they know you were raised by your mother. There is hardly any man here who doesn't have ties with the mob they would rather not have but can't seem to get rid of. So one of them now joining us in a private gathering is making them more than a little paranoid. That and the fact that hardly anyone knows anything about you but most know of you." Merely nodding at this Eliah decided to ignore the gawkers and asked: "Please forgive my ignorance but how does this work? I got send here with the words: "Just go and experience it for yourself." but I'd really like to know just a little more about what exactly would be common to go on in these meetings." Smiling the old man said: "I'll tell you a little now but why don't you come with me afterwards. There is another party I have been invited to which I think will interest you more than this and it will give me the opportunity to explain things in more detail." Nodding Eliah answered: "I'd be honoured.". Oh great an evening spend with more old geezers. I'm becoming more and more thankful for my father returning to my life, he thought sarcastically.
Then the chairman got up drawing everyone’s attention to him. During the rest of the meeting the baron who insisted on being called Heinrich explained the proceedings to him. The four most important people in the room sit in the front row directly facing the door. The chairman, secretary and treasurer, who always attended and the fourth seat now empty for the emperor. Every person of noble birth has is the right to attend with the stipulation that only one person per family is allowed the vote. Everyone is allowed to petition, which has to be done 24 hours before the set time of the meeting, and petitions are dealt with according to the time they have been motioned. This means that adjourned cases from previous meetings will be dealt with first and petitions that have been motioned in the time since the last meeting come later. The only way to break this chronology is when a notice of urgency is attached which is only possible with 3 of the 4 seals from the head officials.
The chairman got up and was about to speak when a loud creaking drew everyone’s stare to the door. A young man with stunning silver hair that hung in a long braid on his back in a white military uniform with red, blue and gold finishing’s stood profiled against the dark hallway. Closing the doors behind him he calmly walked over to the stairs, finding himself a place in the upper rows. Looking at the chairman as if to say, :What are you waiting for. He crossed his legs and made a gesture motioning the chairman to get on with it. Everything was done with such an air of superiority and grace Eliah could do nothing but stare. The whole hall was in uproar. Everywhere people were talking amongst themselves and some even stood and pointed, making gestures of outrage. "Ne Sir can you tell me, who is he that everyone is in such a flurry." Eliah asked Heinrich but when he didn't get an answer and looked at the old man he saw him grabbing the arms of his chair his face turned completely white and mumbling something under his breath. "He knows the bastard. He knows." Waving his hand in front of the mans face then snapping his fingers Eliah managed to return the old mans attention to himself.
A soft wind was blowing. He could feel the long blades of grass caressing his skin. From behind his closed eyelids sunlight was filtering through. Warming the bare skin of his face and arms. He wondered how he'd gotten here for there was no pain, no screaming, just the sound of the leaves of grass whistling in the blowing wind. Slowly letting go of the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Opening his eyes in little slits he tried not to squint against the light. Through his lashes he could see white clouds drifting in a summer blue sky. Perhaps he'd gotten thrown away again. To his right the grass rustled and after the sound of a match being lid the scent of tobacco came drifting his way.
"Please don't mind me I am only here for the scenery." A voice said.
Not giving a reaction he stayed still.
An man dressed in a grey yukata smoking from an old fashioned long pipe and wooden slippers took a long look at him and then relaxed in the last rays of sunshine coming over the hills to the west. For the longest time the both of them shared their silence, the man sitting cross-legged smoking and the boy lying motionless on the grass. The way the man had looked at him had been like a predator lazily staring at something that might just become prey later but was fun enough to play with for now and it made him tense. Until the sun completely disappeared the only thing filling the silence was the rustling of the grass and the occasional sound of the man exhaling out a cloud of smoke. Then a severe looking man in a black suit came from the house and remained standing a little ways of. Blowing one final cloud of smoke the man emptied his pipe by hitting it against his slippers.
"I guess that means time is up." the man said.
Walking back up hill and out of his field of vision the boy heard him say as he passed the severe man in black: "The study if you'd please."
The man in black silently approached the boy. "He says you are awake. Personally I don't see it but he's never been wrong about it before. So I would appreciate it if you would walk on your own." Internally debating whether or not he should move the boy finally came to the conclusion he was too scared of the other man after all. Then the man in black kicked him in the side. It was a mean spot and it hurt like hell but he was used to that so he still didn't move letting his body fall as it may on impact. Then he was grabbed by his arms and hoisted over the man's shoulder, whom then continued to carry him up hill.
As it turned out there was a rather large house up there. Looking out over the surrounding fields you could see anyone coming from miles away. But he could only catch a glimpse of it before they entered the house.
He was carried through several narrow hallways until they reached an open study with a fireplace and several comfortable chairs. In between the bookcases the walls were littered with different kinds of weapons guns antique swords and the like and between them there hung small portraits almost as if standing testimony to their being either killed or handled by the people in them. The man in the yukata was standing behind the large desk by the window. Throwing the boy on the rug in front of the fireplace the man in black said: "Are you really sure he is awake?" No longer able to see the man by the window the boy was not really sure about what happened but in the silence the man who had carried him in turned white for a moment then bowed to and left. In the silence that followed all the boy could hear was his own breath. Then the man came walking into his field of vision. A fake friendly smile plastered on his face he leaned his foot on the exact spot the man in black had kicked him. "He kicked you didn't he? I'm sure it hurts quite a lot if I do this. Actually you are the first person ever to make me doubt whether or not he is conscious or not. Quite a feat."
Sitting down in one of the chairs the man kept his eyes trained on the boy at his feet. "I wonder just how you got to be so fucked up that you can endure that. But what I want to know even more is just how far you can take it." Opening his eyes the boy trained them on the man in the chair.
"There is no need for that. I know my limit." he said in a clear voice. Sitting up carefully inspecting his muscles and joints in the process without being obvious about it. The man in the chair sat back a mysterious smile on his face. "That is an interesting eye-colour you have." Shrugging the boy slowly got up and went to sit in the opposing chair. "My parents gave it to me. What about you?" Shrugging in a similar fashion the man made a non-committing gesture. "Didn't we all?" he said evasively. "Also aren't there other things you'd like to know?" Now it was the boys turn to shrug again. "I'm guessing you will get to that when you feel like it. "Also," he said mimicking the man's voice. "aren't there other things "YOU" would like to know." Crossing his arms he was the perfect image of a petulant child. For a moment the man in the chair was silent but then he started laughing. "Now I really wonder who you are. No matter. I will find out eventually. Let's cut the games. You are mine, nothing you can do about it. And what I want to know is what you can do for me. It's only natural to know the worth of ones possessions." Nodding the boy just sat in the opposing chair but didn't say anything. Folding his hands into a steeple in front of his face the man stayed silent as well.
Frowning at the tame reaction from the boy the man leaned back. "I'll start with a little self-introduction. My name is Kamui Kobayashi and my occupation is at this point irrelevant to you. Now I what I expect from you as my property is first of, your name." The boy just kept his silence. "Also I would like to turn your attention to the fact that disobedience will be punished." Nodding the boy said: "I don't have a name. In the past it has been altogether irrelevant for me to have a personal name." Kamui's eyes widened a little in surprise. "Then your age and previous occupation."
"I don't know my age either and my previous occupation would be... disposable item perhaps."
Annoyed with that answer Kamui's frown deepened. Getting up he trapped the small body in the chair by and leaned in. "You really want to get punished don't you." The eyes of the boy turning dead he just looked up at the man towering over him. "Mr.K. you asked to know my limits. There is only one way to find out how far you can stretch me and that is by doing it. I am only providing you with an excuse to do so." Backhanding him hard the boys lip split. "I will overlook your tone there but if you think I need an excuse to do whatever I want to you then you are dead wrong." his eyes glowing with malice.
"Then what are you so worked up about. Stop this nonsense and find out what it is you want to know." The malicious grin spreading over Kamui's face inspired fear in any man who knew him well enough and severe disease in anyone who didn't, in anyone but the young just stared back into its darkness with emotionless eyes.
------------
When the door opened the man in black who had been waiting across the hall approached his master who, as he came out was wiping his hands on a white cloth leaving it stained red. "His name is Caidian Ciel. I want you to take care of his training. Make sure you give him all the opportunity to develop into a useful asset." Walking together towards the front door where a car was waiting the man in black said: "I'll have his background check on your desk when you return." About to step into the car Kamui halted and looked back and laughed humourlessly. "Daniell..." Then shaking his head he got into the car. Before closing the door he leaned out and said: "I'd tell you to not to bother because you won't find anything but.. Knock yourself out. I'll be looking forward to your results." Then he closed the door and drove away. Shaking his head Daniell walked back inside. He had been working for Kamui for several years now and had found him to be a clever man with an instinct for business that bordered on the miraculous. He also had very little compassion and was often called heartless. As he opened the door to the study he was sharply reminded of that. The boy was lying on his stomach on the floor near the fireplace. His eyes were still open and clear despite the bruises that were starting to bloom all over his body. A network of scars ran crisscross over the boys skin leaving hardly any space untouched. Most of them with the whiteness of old scars but some of them still fresh. No more than a week old. And in the middle of all that were fresh burn marks. Stained red and black letters curved down his back on the left side nicely complementing the tattooed flowers blooming on his right. Having been across the hall the entire time Daniell could hardly believe he hadn't heard a sound. But what really stuck in his mind was the smile on the boys face as he lay there. The hot poker he had been burned with lying next to him. It'll be interesting for a while he thought as he went to get the bandages.
Chapter 1.
"I hear this is your first time at the assembly." his guide said as he was leading him through grand hallways to where The Assembly of Ladies and Gentlemen would be held. "Yes, until recently there was no reason for me to be involved in politics but as you must know my honourable father had a little accident and can no longer produce an heir making me his only son. It's still bordering on the miraculous it all went so fast." Eliah said faking a cheerful smile. That stupid old man had to go and get himself neutered in an accident and all of a sudden he thinks he has a say in my life. Now instead of playing Mah-Jongg with friends he had to sit in on this boring council in his fathers stead because the old geezer was still in the hospital.
"It's for your own good. Go and see what they are like. Better start now than wait until later when there actually is something you want to be decided there." is what his father had said when he had told him that quite frankly he didn't want to go. "I wish he'd just go and die already. Since he decided to show an interest after 20 years of ignorance and suddenly decided to make me his heir he's been nothing but a bother. Being in the hospital and performing that little theatre piece of being the poor lonely heartbroken man who finally realizes the love of his life was his first love, trying to win back my mother as an ally. Unbelievable!" Making sure that none of those sympathies showed on his face he followed the guide into the assembly room. It was as grand and pompous as he had expected it to be. Gold and marble inlay covered the floor and walls and precious paintings and tapestries had been hung on every available piece of wall. The room itself was a square but along the walls tiers had been build leaving the middle of the room an open area. Every tier had several chairs, some of them inlaid with the name of a prestigious family. According to his guide families received the honour of a named chair for special services rendered to the empire. His family name had been up there from the very beginning though. While his guide rambled of all the names and dates of important people and things that had been decided here Eliah looked at the people. His mother had forced him to memorize all the names and faces of every single noble and the base of their support.
Knowing how the power was divided turned out to be very useful. As the assembly came closer to starting more people filed in and almost naturally approached people who belonged to the same group. Another thing he noticed was the absence of women on the whole. There were only about 20 women spread over the 400 gatherers. His guide soon after took his leave, as he was not authorized to attend the actual assembly exiting the room right before the doors closed behind him. Finding his designated seat Eliah took a quick look around the room and saw that not nearly every seat was occupied. Also the faces he had seen so far where only the more elite of the nobility. "But isn't that strange? In this setting they could at least voice their opinions." he thought frowning. Clearing his throat an elder man came to sit next him on the right. "Is something the matter young man? You look trouble." Digging out a smile Eliah answered: "It's nothing really. Just wondering about something. Whom do I have the honour of addressing?" Silently thanking his mother for drilling social etiquette into him he held out his hand to the speaker. Grasping his hand in a firm handshake not at all in tune with his appearance the old man said: "I am baron Heinrich Hartzfeldt. Very pleased to make your acquaintance Sir.. But of course, sitting in the Saintz seat. You must be Eliah Saintz the designated heir?" It hadn’t really been a question. Smiling brightly like a 1000W light bulb Eliah said: "Yes indeed I am Eliah Nicholas Saintz. And the pleasure is all mine Sir. Hartzfeldt." While they continued to chat several people were stealing not so secret glances at them while others openly stared. But none of them dared approach him. Noticing Eliah's annoyed glances at the gawkers the old man said: "You must forgive them, they know you were raised by your mother. There is hardly any man here who doesn't have ties with the mob they would rather not have but can't seem to get rid of. So one of them now joining us in a private gathering is making them more than a little paranoid. That and the fact that hardly anyone knows anything about you but most know of you." Merely nodding at this Eliah decided to ignore the gawkers and asked: "Please forgive my ignorance but how does this work? I got send here with the words: "Just go and experience it for yourself." but I'd really like to know just a little more about what exactly would be common to go on in these meetings." Smiling the old man said: "I'll tell you a little now but why don't you come with me afterwards. There is another party I have been invited to which I think will interest you more than this and it will give me the opportunity to explain things in more detail." Nodding Eliah answered: "I'd be honoured.". Oh great an evening spend with more old geezers. I'm becoming more and more thankful for my father returning to my life, he thought sarcastically.
Then the chairman got up drawing everyone’s attention to him. During the rest of the meeting the baron who insisted on being called Heinrich explained the proceedings to him. The four most important people in the room sit in the front row directly facing the door. The chairman, secretary and treasurer, who always attended and the fourth seat now empty for the emperor. Every person of noble birth has is the right to attend with the stipulation that only one person per family is allowed the vote. Everyone is allowed to petition, which has to be done 24 hours before the set time of the meeting, and petitions are dealt with according to the time they have been motioned. This means that adjourned cases from previous meetings will be dealt with first and petitions that have been motioned in the time since the last meeting come later. The only way to break this chronology is when a notice of urgency is attached which is only possible with 3 of the 4 seals from the head officials.
The chairman got up and was about to speak when a loud creaking drew everyone’s stare to the door. A young man with stunning silver hair that hung in a long braid on his back in a white military uniform with red, blue and gold finishing’s stood profiled against the dark hallway. Closing the doors behind him he calmly walked over to the stairs, finding himself a place in the upper rows. Looking at the chairman as if to say, :What are you waiting for. He crossed his legs and made a gesture motioning the chairman to get on with it. Everything was done with such an air of superiority and grace Eliah could do nothing but stare. The whole hall was in uproar. Everywhere people were talking amongst themselves and some even stood and pointed, making gestures of outrage. "Ne Sir can you tell me, who is he that everyone is in such a flurry." Eliah asked Heinrich but when he didn't get an answer and looked at the old man he saw him grabbing the arms of his chair his face turned completely white and mumbling something under his breath. "He knows the bastard. He knows." Waving his hand in front of the mans face then snapping his fingers Eliah managed to return the old mans attention to himself.
OMG It's 2011!!!!
Yeey Happy New Years everyone!!!!! Except for those like me who are now smack dash in the middle of their exam period.. For those people the HAPPY!! part of the new year will come a little later. Now don't look at me like that I didn't forget that I was going to post some stuff (or that I have missed 2 years of new years greetings for that matter damn the single before last post was happy 2008... T-T) On a happy note. MY PIANO IS HERE!!! OMG I HAVE MY VERY OWN PIANO I'M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!!!! If it wasn't completely out of tune from the moving that is... Either way I am having a grand time annoying the crap out of all the other people in the building who gave their consent before hand and are now stuck with my playing. Hmmm... Maybe if I play enough they will sponsor me in keeping it in tune! ^^ just kidding. Either way. My lovely story that I was going to write for nano this year fell through because from day 3 onwards I was fazed by the humongous writers-block that sat its fat as down on me!!! *shakes fist!* However I did manage to write at least something so I'll be posting that here. It's only a partial of a now revised story-line so you won't find it in the original BUT! its a start. ^^ Please enjoy!! Oh and let me know what you think even though its just a scrap and it ends in a weird place :P
Monday, August 30, 2010
It's been a while...
I found out recently well maybe not so recently I'm not much of a blogger. Also my last post has been so long agoooo. A lot has happened. I failed some DO-NOT-FAIL-THESE!!! tests so I'm changing studies. I moved to Leiden and am now happily living in my very own student apartment where ((YEEY YEEY YEEY!!!)) I will have my piano so I can play again. ^v^ I also got hooked on RP-ing and made some new friends through it. Otakuzone really is the place for otaku's around the world to gather and have a chat. ^-^ Really you should try it. We'll treat you well.
In other news I found out I now once again have too many books... No not really I just don't have enough room to stack them away anymore so I'm going to have to find more spare room somehow... To my shame I have to say I haven't been drawing at all lately. This because my hand got injured pretty badly and now that its working again I just haven't been feeling up to it. I'll have to start from scratch I think and I just don't wanna...
However once I am back to studying I think it'll come back on its own. Hey what else am I to do during those long class hours... ((yes I do know I just mentioned I failed at my studies...))
Well that's that for now.
I'm currently writing my own story about my own made up world. I've been wanting to do that for a while now but I just never got around to finishing any of the ones I started on in the past. I'm still wondering whether or not I can finish this one. But if I don't try I can be sure of never finishing the thing. Yes that's what I'll call it for now. The "thing". Oh I decided I'll use this blog together with my livejournal one to publish small brain-farts, side-stories and others to find out what is generally liked in a story. ^^
For now ja naaa.
In other news I found out I now once again have too many books... No not really I just don't have enough room to stack them away anymore so I'm going to have to find more spare room somehow... To my shame I have to say I haven't been drawing at all lately. This because my hand got injured pretty badly and now that its working again I just haven't been feeling up to it. I'll have to start from scratch I think and I just don't wanna...
However once I am back to studying I think it'll come back on its own. Hey what else am I to do during those long class hours... ((yes I do know I just mentioned I failed at my studies...))
Well that's that for now.
I'm currently writing my own story about my own made up world. I've been wanting to do that for a while now but I just never got around to finishing any of the ones I started on in the past. I'm still wondering whether or not I can finish this one. But if I don't try I can be sure of never finishing the thing. Yes that's what I'll call it for now. The "thing". Oh I decided I'll use this blog together with my livejournal one to publish small brain-farts, side-stories and others to find out what is generally liked in a story. ^^
For now ja naaa.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
New year greetings to all ^-^
Hello and welcome to the new year!!!!! ^-^
A little late yeah I know but I seem to recall saying that I'm not really a blogger at heart so it must be ok to let a few months go by before greeting the new year. Also with my birthday barely a week behind me it is a very different year i greet this year. Give it up to the big 2-0 of my second decade here on this little piece of rock and water. But enough about the material things. Here is something to think about. If you were to have to choose who would you say in all the stories sagas dreams and novels you've ever read felt or heard about is the ultimate Master of the Mind? And why?
Tell me tell me :D:D:D
My ultimate mind master is.....
A little late yeah I know but I seem to recall saying that I'm not really a blogger at heart so it must be ok to let a few months go by before greeting the new year. Also with my birthday barely a week behind me it is a very different year i greet this year. Give it up to the big 2-0 of my second decade here on this little piece of rock and water. But enough about the material things. Here is something to think about. If you were to have to choose who would you say in all the stories sagas dreams and novels you've ever read felt or heard about is the ultimate Master of the Mind? And why?
Tell me tell me :D:D:D
My ultimate mind master is.....
Thinking writing thinking drowning in music never surface again except to think and write and think and drown once again. All wonderful and all very much futile but there is the one important thing about it. It leads to new questions and new possible answers left to their own vice of a never to be answered state. I love the concept of the endless question. It means to never be bored by it. It means that no matter what you can always rely on it to have something left to say. What would the world be without questions. Once we have an answer to everything and the new questions that called forth. In other words what will we do when all we have is answers?
Monday, October 29, 2007
Virtual Political Environment or VPE
Weird assignments ask for weird hand-inns.
Mine was as follows:
Dreamscape
A virtual world on the net that allows you to create your personal environment through your imagination. A special kind of headgear links the creative part of your brain to the computer where you can build your own reality by imagining it. However you can only keep what you can hold steady in your mind. As soon as the image in your mind becomes faded so does the image in cyberspace. So the area you affect is mostly depended upon how vivid you imagination is. Everyone has a standard default character but those can be altered at will or more accurately imagination.
Now the following problems appear:
- If you rely on people imagining the world or as much of it around them as possible for each individual there are bound to be images some people find unsuitable or at least not to their taste. Should unsuitable ideas be policed and imagined away? And if so by whom?
- What about the issue of adult content? Scary, horrific or pornographic images any movie theatre would R-rate, are those admissible? How do you keep youngsters from being exposed to those images if the platform is virtually without boundaries.
- Then there is there issue of privacy. Since all is imagination does any so proclaimed authority the right to intervene at all? After all it is a persons mind and imagination you are breaking in to not some backyard barn. Also it is so that in the current legal system no person can be prosecuted for things he imagines. So even if there were a force to police this virtual world what rights would they have?
Mine was as follows:
Dreamscape
A virtual world on the net that allows you to create your personal environment through your imagination. A special kind of headgear links the creative part of your brain to the computer where you can build your own reality by imagining it. However you can only keep what you can hold steady in your mind. As soon as the image in your mind becomes faded so does the image in cyberspace. So the area you affect is mostly depended upon how vivid you imagination is. Everyone has a standard default character but those can be altered at will or more accurately imagination.
Now the following problems appear:
- If you rely on people imagining the world or as much of it around them as possible for each individual there are bound to be images some people find unsuitable or at least not to their taste. Should unsuitable ideas be policed and imagined away? And if so by whom?
- What about the issue of adult content? Scary, horrific or pornographic images any movie theatre would R-rate, are those admissible? How do you keep youngsters from being exposed to those images if the platform is virtually without boundaries.
- Then there is there issue of privacy. Since all is imagination does any so proclaimed authority the right to intervene at all? After all it is a persons mind and imagination you are breaking in to not some backyard barn. Also it is so that in the current legal system no person can be prosecuted for things he imagines. So even if there were a force to police this virtual world what rights would they have?
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Shattering and unforseen changes in the mental make-up
So strange.. Do you know the feeling when you are unaware of the changes happening right under your nose untill its so far ahead of you it cant possibly be stopped? Then that moment of awakening that takes you totally by surprise and the only thing you can think is NOO NOT YET!! Well I know the feeling all to well.. Somehow things have a habit of sneeking up on me. It's not like I'm being careless or simply too unconcerned about my surroundings to care. I like to think its more to do with the fact that I love to watch..to see all there is to see.
Change is something that happens from within and eventually gets to us all. No one is a static entity simply because that is contradictory. You cant be both a personality and remain static at the same time. A personality requires a certain amount of animation and participation in order to be a personality. If you manage to be at a standstill let me know. I'd be very curious about how you manage to stay sane with the world wirling around you and all.
However what do you so when others absorb you so thoroughly that you cant see the changes within untill you are already changed beyond recognition. Who are you then. Will you still recognise yourself. Looking at others from a central point so you can see all is a lonely place. Is there anyone who will still see you? Trully see you.. And what about the people orbiting you in ties of friendship hatred and bloodties. When you change who you are can you maintain your possition as the observer or should you be the one surrendered to their relentless scruitiny. Will you let them?
The watcher or the watched. A never relenting sense of big brother who watches you has settled on society. But is it really big brother or is it just us watching us searching the minute flaws we all have and analyzing how to use that to our own advantage.
However intersting though not what i wanted to alk about.
The sence of fading and breaking out of what you used to be. Ever experienced that? The illusions you collect through your life builing them as a wall between yourself and the outside world showing the others who are watching just what you want them to see. What is it that lies behind that wall? Who is it you trully are? Are you naive enough to say you dont have such a wall? Is the you that is presented to other people exactly a representation of who you are and what you are thinking? Or do you edit. Edit who you are. Edit so others will see what they want.
It is amazing to which extend you can fake being sincere. You can even lock yourslef out of your true mind.
But think about it.
When the walls go down.
Who will you be?
Are you the hermit safely tucked behind the now crumbling remnants of you once proud conviction?
Or are you the slave of society the one who is easily pleased and easy to please others.
The one who has been there for all to see.
When the walls come tumbling down who will you be?
Change is something that happens from within and eventually gets to us all. No one is a static entity simply because that is contradictory. You cant be both a personality and remain static at the same time. A personality requires a certain amount of animation and participation in order to be a personality. If you manage to be at a standstill let me know. I'd be very curious about how you manage to stay sane with the world wirling around you and all.
However what do you so when others absorb you so thoroughly that you cant see the changes within untill you are already changed beyond recognition. Who are you then. Will you still recognise yourself. Looking at others from a central point so you can see all is a lonely place. Is there anyone who will still see you? Trully see you.. And what about the people orbiting you in ties of friendship hatred and bloodties. When you change who you are can you maintain your possition as the observer or should you be the one surrendered to their relentless scruitiny. Will you let them?
The watcher or the watched. A never relenting sense of big brother who watches you has settled on society. But is it really big brother or is it just us watching us searching the minute flaws we all have and analyzing how to use that to our own advantage.
However intersting though not what i wanted to alk about.
The sence of fading and breaking out of what you used to be. Ever experienced that? The illusions you collect through your life builing them as a wall between yourself and the outside world showing the others who are watching just what you want them to see. What is it that lies behind that wall? Who is it you trully are? Are you naive enough to say you dont have such a wall? Is the you that is presented to other people exactly a representation of who you are and what you are thinking? Or do you edit. Edit who you are. Edit so others will see what they want.
It is amazing to which extend you can fake being sincere. You can even lock yourslef out of your true mind.
But think about it.
When the walls go down.
Who will you be?
Are you the hermit safely tucked behind the now crumbling remnants of you once proud conviction?
Or are you the slave of society the one who is easily pleased and easy to please others.
The one who has been there for all to see.
When the walls come tumbling down who will you be?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)